Cleaning Out Your Calendar: Making Space for What Matters

When I teach clients about calendar/time management, I ask them to imagine their calendar is a fridge.  What does your fridge look like?  Is it full of stuff but nothing of substance?  Maybe it’s full of expired yogurt, wilted lettuce, and leftovers you don’t even remember putting in there.  Cleaning out the fridge can be oddly satisfying, but it’s also a reminder of how much we hold onto things that no longer serve us. Sometimes, we need to clean our fridge to make space for what matters.  

Like our overstuffed fridges, we accumulate commitments, relationships, and to-do lists that we hold onto far past their “expiration date.” Or maybe we have just overfilled the fridge, and it’s time to pair back until what is important fits. What if, just like cleaning out the fridge, we could clear out our calendars and lives of the things that no longer nourish us?

Let’s explore how cleaning out your metaphorical fridge can be a powerful act of renewal and how you can stop “putting out chairs” for obligations that don’t truly matter.

Why Cleaning Out the Fridge is Necessary

There’s something freeing about cleaning out a fridge. When you toss out the expired milk and questionable leftovers, you create space—space for new ingredients, fresh meals, and energy. Psychologically, this act is more than just organizing; it’s a reset. It gives you clarity, allowing you to focus on what’s useful and needed.

The same applies to life. Whether it’s outdated habits, toxic relationships, or long-standing commitments that no longer serve us, we often hold onto things out of guilt or habit. These are the “expired items” in our metaphorical fridge. They take up valuable energy and space, leaving little room for what truly nourishes us—peace, joy, and fulfillment.

Letting go of what no longer serves us isn’t always easy, but the result is a newfound sense of clarity. You get to decide what stays and what goes, and that’s where the power lies.

Looking at Your Calendar as a Fridge

Now, let’s shift this concept to your calendar. Much like a fridge, our schedules can become overstuffed with commitments, tasks, and plans. Sometimes, we’re so used to the chaos that we don’t even realize how overwhelmed we feel until it’s too late. We fill our calendars with things we think we should do, often out of obligation, and ignore the emotional clutter it creates.

If you find yourself constantly feeling burnt out, stressed, or stretched too thin, it might be time to audit your “calendar fridge.” Here’s how:

1. Check for Expired Commitments: Review your schedule and identify the activities or responsibilities that no longer align with your values or bring you joy. Have you been holding onto that weekly meeting that drains your energy? Or maybe it’s a social event that’s become more of an obligation than a source of happiness.
2. Reorganize for What Nourishes You: After tossing the expired commitments, make room for what truly matters. Whether it’s quality time with loved ones, self-care, or pursuing passions, your time should be dedicated to activities that refresh you.
3. Toss What’s Rotten: Some commitments are like that mysterious item in the back of the fridge—unseen and forgotten, yet somehow draining. Release any obligations that cause undue stress, resentment, or anxiety.
4. Create Space: If you are feeling exhausted and burnt out, it’s a sign that it’s time to get clear about what is important, make that a priority, and start saying no to other things so you have space to recover, rest, and enjoy life. 

The Concept of “Stop Putting Out Chairs”

In Present Over Perfect, Shauna Niequist introduces the idea of “stop putting out chairs.” It’s a metaphor for the habit of constantly making space for more—more commitments, more people, more tasks (think of it like buying more groceries) —without checking if you have the capacity or even if you want more. In essence, you’re preparing for a bigger party than you can handle or want, which only leads to exhaustion and a lack of fulfillment.

Just like adding more food to an already full fridge, putting out more chairs to accommodate others or endless tasks can lead to emotional clutter. By always expanding our capacity, we lose sight of what’s truly meaningful.

We are taught to keep striving for bigger, better, and more. But what if bigger, better, and more don’t make you happy? What if you capped your capacity to a level that makes you happy?

The key isn’t to manage more but to limit what we allow in. Stop making space for obligations that don’t serve your well-being. By intentionally cutting down the number of “chairs” you put out, you create more room for what matters.

How to Stop Putting Out Chairs and Clean Out the Fridge

Here are a few ways you can integrate both the fridge and chair metaphors into your life for more peace and clarity:

1. Be Intentional with Your Time: Say no to the commitments that don’t align with your values and goals.
2. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to stop making space for others’ expectations and focus on your own needs.
3. Create a Nourishment List: Write down the activities and people that energize and fulfill you. Prioritize them.
4. Write your non-negotiable list:  This is the list of items you will not sacrifice.  For example, perhaps it’s watching your child’s soccer games, a monthly massage or a weekly spin class, or a dinner with a friend every six weeks. What items will you never sacrifice?
5. Regularly Audit Your Calendar: Just as you’d clean out your fridge, check your calendar on a monthly or quarterly basis to clear out anything that no longer brings you joy or purpose.

Bonus: get good at saying no. 

Conclusion

Cleaning out your fridge literally and metaphorically creates space for what truly nourishes you. By regularly auditing your life and stopping the habit of putting out chairs for things that no longer serve you, you can make room for the commitments, relationships, and activities that bring real joy and peace.

So, what’s in your metaphorical fridge that needs to go? And who are you still putting out chairs for that no longer needs a seat at your table? It’s time to clean house—and feel the power of letting go.

The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.

Joshua Becker

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