To move forward into 2021.

2020 was hard. It just was.

A friend of mine suggested that to move forward into 2021 we needed first to make peace with 2020. I thought about it and realized she was right. So right, that I added this element to my Q1 2021 planning workshop.

We cannot go forward while looking backwards. Thus to move forward, to have the best 2021, I need to make peace with 2020. You might wonder how I am making peace. I’m glad you are wondering because that is what this blog is about.

I’m starting with grief. I’m making time and space to grieve for all that I lost in 2020. I’m grieving the trips I had to cancel, the time with friends I couldn’t have, the holidays, birthdays and parties that were not possible. I’m grieving the loss of staff, the closer of our physical store and the loss of customers who didn’t make it. I’m grieving the loss of in-person meetings and hugs. I’m grieving so much. We all lost.

I’m then moving on to forgiveness. It’s easy to get angry. I’ve been angry this year. I’ve been angry at the government and the virus. I’ve been angry at the 92-year old that lives with me because I can’t get a break (maybe you’ve been angry at your children). I’ve been angry at my husband for … well just about anything because I know his love for me is infinite and sometimes he just gets the anger I have nowhere else to throw. Sorry, my love. I’ve just been angry. I’ve been angry at 2020. Mostly, I’ve been angry and disappointed in myself.

Forgiveness work is important. It’s a powerful transformative change agent. Some see forgiveness as being weak or a form of giving in or letting someone or something “off the hook”. When we refuse to forgive, we are actually choosing to hang onto all that old hurtful emotion. The energy of the pain becomes trapped in our bodies and can eat away at our physical, emotional and mental health. The pain actually affects our health, our behaviours and our choices. Yuk.

Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness is about taking back YOUR power. Forgiveness is about making a stand and no longer allowing something to affect your health, your choice, your decision or your behaviours. When we forgive, we take back control of who we are, how we think and how we will move forward with our future. Forgiveness is about looking forwards.

If we don’t forgive, we continue to look backwards even while moving forward. It’s not easy to do that and not trip over some obstacle or miss something great right in front of you. I personally want to head into 2021 looking forward. This is why I need to forgive.

Often there are three people we need to forgive. Forgive those that harmed you, forgive those that didn’t do anything when they probably should have and finally forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is the most important person you can forgive.

To do this forgiveness work, I will take the time and space to think it through. I know the biggest person I need to forgive is myself. I need to let go of all this pain from 2020. I need to make peace. Once I’ve grieved and forgiven, I know I can look into 2021 stronger and facing the right direction. I can face 2021 ready for whatever it has for me. For whatever growth I need to keep pursuing my purpose.

As you look at 2020 is there grieving you need to do? Is there forgiveness work you maybe want to do? If you said yes, be kind to yourself, love yourself and make the time.

Please reach out to me, I’m interested to hear your thoughts on this blog.

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

Mel Robbins